No time for negative~

It's that time again. Spending the weekend packing and organizing to head to Duke on Monday. I'm usually a wreck before we go. Emotional, nervous, and just on edge.  For one, I hate leaving my boys. I know they love their time with Grammy and Pa but it's hard to leave them. 

My nerves always start to get the best of me before we go too. A fellow brain cancer warrior told me it's called "PMS".  Pre MRI syndrome!!! It's just so difficult not knowing what they are going to see.

A few months ago I read something and it has just stuck in my mind. I just keep repeating it as the negative thoughts pop up. "Stop thinking of what could go wrong and start thinking of what could go right." Such a hard concept for our brains, but it makes so much sense. So that's what I've been trying to do. When I worry about something, I immediately think of the opposite outcome (the positive one) and I can't tell you how much of a difference it makes. My whole frame of mind changes. That being said, I'm finding myself a bit relaxed about our trip this time. I'm not sure if that's a good thing or not, but it sure feels pretty good not to be so worried. I know that God has got this.  I'm sure there will be bumps in the road, but as long as He's leading the way, I know we will make it though.

I often think of the day when my husband and I can hear and say the words  "cancer free". Don't get me wrong, I'm more than thankful to be where we are. We've come a long way in a year. But something about saying those words...... Maybe it's silly but it sure makes me smile to think about it.

I remember the look in my husbands eyes the day we found out about the tumor. I'd love to replace that with the look in his eyes the day we found out its gone! And I believe I will. And then to be able to tell Big G..... And our families! See! Here I go!! I've got to admit, it is so much more fun to think about what could go right.  I hate worrying. I've always been a huge worry wart so quite honestly I think this is a huge step for me. God hasn't given me any reason to doubt or not trust Him. He's taken care of us in ways that are better than what we've asked. So I'm giving it to Him. I know He will take care of it. All of it. In ways that I can't even begin to imagine. And I just can't even tell you how that makes me feel. God is amazing.  And I truly can't thank him enough. So, for now, were ready for a great trip with a great report! God's got this and I'm loving ever minute of it!!

Now to Him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine according to his power that is at work within us. To him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever, Amen.

Ephesians 3:20-21