Trusting in Him

When I stop and really think about all that's happened over the past 2 years, I'm filled with such peace. God has completely taken care of our family. Now believe me, I'm not saying that it's all been "peaches and cream" by any means. But He ALWAYS provides. Funny thing is, in most cases, what He provides is not what we've prayed for........it's better!! And that's how I know it's God. He's always doing "immeasurably more" (Ephesians 3:20) than what we ask. 

I know I've mentioned before that I'm always afraid of asking God for too much. There are so many people suffering, sometimes I hesitate to pray about the "small stuff". 

Perfect example. For over a year now I've been struggling with my vision. Seeing double and not being able to focus in on objects. I hadn't really prayed about it because I just pray for another day of life. But I finally started to pray about that specifically as well. 

I've seen my neuro optometrist a few times and he's pretty much just wanted to monitor me. But at my last visit, I told him I'd love to be able to drive again. And his response was "Well sure! Why not??"  We left that day with 2 prescriptions. About an hour later I had new glasses.....My sister took me to pick them up and I think she was a bit thrown off when I started to cry in the middle of the eyeglass store!! I could see!!! Overwhelmed by another one of Gods blessings. But, I must say, the best part came when I got home....my sweet 2 year old ran up to check out Mommy's new glasses and guess what...I could actually focus in on his sweet face! A definite gift from God!! I'm still adjusting to the new prescription and prisms but very soon, I will be driving again!! So much more than what I had been praying for. And so much sooner than I ever thought it would happen!!

Now this next praise isn't definite yet but I just have to share....for quite sometime I have been wanting my husband to find a job closer to home. (Right now he's gone 4 days a week working and he spends the night with family on those days so he doesn't have a 2 hour commute to and from work.) The school that he attended is very close to where we live so I kept mentioning to him that he should go by and see if they were hiring. He looked into it and found that we would have pretty crapy health insurance and that he, of course, would lose all the benefits he's gained with his current company over the past 13 years. Not to mention a pretty large pay cut. But I kept praying that God would provide something there for him. I was thinking that's what would be best for us. He would be home every night and we'd have weekends as a family and he would be 15 minutes from home if we needed something. What could be better??

Well, just a few weeks ago my husband told me that his company had bought another company and they were looking for employees that would be willing to transfer.  He told me that he'd like to look into it. A bit nervous, I asked him where it was located. His response completely threw me off. He said it was only a half an hour away!! And get ready for this.....because they were both now owned by the same company, my husband would be able to keep all of his benefits and we'd have the same health insurance! We would lose nothing!!! Now, like I said, nothing is definite yet.  They are still working on details and paperwork. But I'm more than confident that God has got this. I mean seriously. What are the odds??? Staying with the same company AND close to home??? I totally see Gods hand. I know it is. 

If it doesn't work out, no worries. I know he's got something better planned. But we are trusting in him and I know He will take care of it. 

May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit. (Romans 15:13 NIV)

I really don't like how long it's been since I last wrote/updated. But it seems since school has been out life has become so much more hectic. I mean that in a good way, but boy is it hard finding ways to entertain a 2 yr old AND an 8 yr old. Especially when you can't drive. Were pretty much stuck at home. And on rainy days (we've had quite a few lately ) we all start to get "cabin fever." But I am so incredibly thankful to finally be getting most of my energy back and starting to feel somewhat "normal" again.

I'm excited to say that I'm no longer taking my steroid that had all the nasty side effects.  Yay! Although they stated me on another. I guess when you take a steroid for a lengthy amount of time (mine was about 2 yrs) your adrenal system basically shuts down. Mine has had a hard time starting again on its own. So this new steroid is giving it at boost to start working again and keeping me from feeling like poo until it does. Thank you God the side effects are less and much more tolerable. I've lost about 17 pounds and have been able to know what it feels like to be cold again!! (The steroids made me feel hot ALL the time.  My skin would feel so cold but I would be sweating and just couldn't cool off. Drove me crazy!)

I've been trying not to be too hard on myself, but I really can't wait to get my "usual" energy back. I know it will get there. I'm just not very patient in waiting!! Ha!

This week I go to see my neuro-optometrist. I'm excited to go. I'm praying and trusting in God that he will have a recommendation to help me be able to see well again. Yes, my long term goal is to drive (and I WILL!!) but it would be nice to just be able to walk and navigate normally again. Right now I have to stop at curbs or steps and really go slow because I can't focus in on them. It's kind of embarrassing but I either have to follow directly behind someone or hold their hand when walking through a crowd or tight space. I may not be able to do it alone now either.....But I will!

I saw my radiation doctor this past week for a follow up. It had been 16 months!! Thank you God! He was very pleased with how things are going. He told me that he really didn't need to see me again, but he would like to keep up with how I'm doing, so he asked if it was ok with me to come back in November. I agreed and can't wait to give him more amazing news and tell him about the ways God continues to bless us.

We go back to Duke next month for another MRI and visit with my Neuro-oncologist. I still believe God is going to prove her wrong and show no evidence of new growth, even though we did change my chemo. This is my story, not anyone else's and God is the author...He's  totally got this and I'm trusting in Him, not in what has happened in other peoples stories. I appreciate the research and trials that they do very, VERY much. But I know without a doubt that God is bigger than any of that! He is the one who can do "immeasurably more" and my hope is in HIM!!  He's totally got this!

"fixing our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God." Hebrews 12:2