Just Be Still....

I can't tell you how many times I've prayed that God will show me what He wants me to do in all this. Some days I feel like a lump on a log. Like the only thing I accomplish is taking my medicine and laying down for a nap.  While I know these are both very important things for me to do right now, it still doesn't feel like much. I feel like I physically need to be doing something. 

Today I saw my oncologist for my 2 week check up and iv meds. We were discussing how well things have been going and I mentioned how good God has been and how He just keeps taking care of us. She smiled and we kept talking about my meds and treatment.  A few minutes later, as she was examining me she said "you mentioned how good God has been....did you know that we've been using Dukes protocol on 6 other patients and they are doing better than expected?" I think my heart skipped a beat. I got goose bumps all over my body! I had no idea that there were even 6 other people with brain tumors in the area, let alone 6 who had the same doctor and were being helped by the same treatment I was getting! And the best part of it is they are doing better than expected! I knew from the beginning God sent us The Tug McGraw Foundation for a reason. They lead us to Duke, and my doctors at Duke found my local oncologist. At the time, we were just happy to find a doctor that would follow Dukes aggressive treatment plan close to home. I just wanted to be with my guys as much as I could.  I had no idea that 6 other lives would benefit from our simple decision to have treatment at home. 

I know that God always has a plan and that we may not always see it or understand it. I feel so incredibly blessed to actually hear about part of His plan taking shape. I realize there is more to this brain tumor than just me and how it's affected my life. Gods got the bigger picture and bigger plans than what I can even comprehend. And for that reason, I will continue to completely trust in Him. It means so much to me to know that even when I feel like I’m doing nothing, God can use me for something. He's so got this!!

Be still and know that I am God. Psalm 46:10